“Thenthational, thpecial, thpectacular, thith’s thuper thtuff Tham,” said Caroline as she read over Sam’s carefully crafted copy.
“Thith will shut that little tewevithion thit up with his awful tape that ith a cwear intruthion into my pwivate wife,” she continued.
“What about Benny Cousins, what about his private life,” shouted a voice from the back of the newsroom.
“That’s diffewent,” snapped Caroline, “Evewybody knowth there’th different wules for uth and them.”
She patted Sam on the back.
“Good work, Thammy. Now, we’re going to need a follow up. Did you get that dingo to talk? On the wecord?”
Sam nodded.
“Yep, yep, she said she’d be willing to talk to me and me only.”
“Well, get that done tomowwow.”
Meanwhile, barely a kilometre from the The Age offices, Chris and Rebecca sat in Melbourne’s hottest new eco-friendly restaurant, Daintree.
They’d agreed it was best to go out and avoid the spectacle of the video being shown that night. And Chris said he wanted to talk, he needed talk, that he didn’t think this meant the end.
“I’ll have the salad thanks,” said Rebecca demurely when the waiter, complete with red and blue hair and a face full of piercings, came to take their order.
“And I’ll have the whale sperm burger,” said Chris. The waiter nodded and departed.
“You’ll have the what?” What is that?” Rebecca asked with disbelief.
“Whale sperm? Well babes, just like you and me, whales are mammals, and you know how when we do the doona dance, and at the end I …”
“Yep, yep, look Chris, enough. I know what whale sperm is. I just don’t understand why you’re eating it. In burger form.”
Chris looked at her as if she had just asked why the sky was blue.
“Because its packed full of nutrients babes, and it comes from a whale, it must be environmentally friendly.”
Rebecca sighed and pretended to be interested as Chris described his day, how Mr Pratt had needed some old admin records gotten rid of and how Chris had had to shred them, then mix them up and drive around the city burning them in separate little piles and rubbing the ashes into the dirt.
“I did so much driving in the Prius today babes, I reckon I would have made a real dent in global warming all by myself.”
He continued to rabbit on and Rebecca began to count to ten. Slowly. It helped. Sometimes.
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